Be A Man

In Chinua Achebe's book "Things Fall Apart", Okonkwo has a strong and clear philosophy of what being man really means. This definition involves being everything that his father was not, and he is constantly in fear that he will become like his father.

Okonkwo takes in Ikemefuna, a young boy who has been taken from his village in family due to his father’s actions. Okonkwo begins to care for the boy and admires many of his qualities. He grows fond of him for the three years that he lives with his family, but things begin to crumble when he is faced with a decision on whether to be loyal or to be what he thinks defines him as a man. He is given a choice. He has the option to go into the woods and be a part of the death of Ikemefuna, or he can stay home because the others understand it may be difficult to destroy someone who has helped and positively affected your family. Okonkwo knows that the progress in the manhood of his son, Nwoye is because the influence that Ikemefuna has over him. “Okonkwo was inwardly pleased at his son’s development, and he knew it was due to Ikemefuna” (Achebe 52). Okonkwo turns his back on the child who loved him like a father and who deserved more than he was given.

            Another way that Okonkwo “controls” his manhood is by holding full power and influence over his wife and children. It is apparent that he loves his children, some more than others, but he very rarely  admits to them that he loves him. He thinks that that affection and emotion makes him vulnerable, weak, and less than a man than he hopes to be. He wants to be a man, and so he thinks that the way to achieve this is by putting a guard up and never truly letting people in. “Okonkwo was specially fond of Ezinma. She looked very much like her mother, who was once the village beauty. But his fondness only showed on very rare occasions” (Achebe 44). 

            There is no doubt that Okonkwo has total control over his wives. He has all of the power in the relationship with each of his wives. He tells them to do something, and they do it. End of story. If they fail to meet his standards and expectations, then they can expect a punishment, and an extremely angry Okonkwo.

            There are many ways to describe a man. It is very upsetting that Okonkwo’s definition of being a man leads him to be a part of the murder of a child who loved him and whom he loves, but never admitted. The wall Okonkwo put up guards him and prevents him from ever having true emotions and feelings for any of his wives or kids.