Be A Man

In Chinua Achebe's book "Things Fall Apart", Okonkwo has a strong and clear philosophy of what being man really means. This definition involves being everything that his father was not, and he is constantly in fear that he will become like his father.

Okonkwo takes in Ikemefuna, a young boy who has been taken from his village in family due to his father’s actions. Okonkwo begins to care for the boy and admires many of his qualities. He grows fond of him for the three years that he lives with his family, but things begin to crumble when he is faced with a decision on whether to be loyal or to be what he thinks defines him as a man. He is given a choice. He has the option to go into the woods and be a part of the death of Ikemefuna, or he can stay home because the others understand it may be difficult to destroy someone who has helped and positively affected your family. Okonkwo knows that the progress in the manhood of his son, Nwoye is because the influence that Ikemefuna has over him. “Okonkwo was inwardly pleased at his son’s development, and he knew it was due to Ikemefuna” (Achebe 52). Okonkwo turns his back on the child who loved him like a father and who deserved more than he was given.

            Another way that Okonkwo “controls” his manhood is by holding full power and influence over his wife and children. It is apparent that he loves his children, some more than others, but he very rarely  admits to them that he loves him. He thinks that that affection and emotion makes him vulnerable, weak, and less than a man than he hopes to be. He wants to be a man, and so he thinks that the way to achieve this is by putting a guard up and never truly letting people in. “Okonkwo was specially fond of Ezinma. She looked very much like her mother, who was once the village beauty. But his fondness only showed on very rare occasions” (Achebe 44). 

            There is no doubt that Okonkwo has total control over his wives. He has all of the power in the relationship with each of his wives. He tells them to do something, and they do it. End of story. If they fail to meet his standards and expectations, then they can expect a punishment, and an extremely angry Okonkwo.

            There are many ways to describe a man. It is very upsetting that Okonkwo’s definition of being a man leads him to be a part of the murder of a child who loved him and whom he loves, but never admitted. The wall Okonkwo put up guards him and prevents him from ever having true emotions and feelings for any of his wives or kids.

Key to Happiness

Most people have the same goal in life: to be happy. When I was a little girl, my dad used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I said that I wanted to be happy. We all have different definitions of what happiness is and how it can be achieved. For some, it means having a family, and for others, it means being successful in their career. Even though there are different ways to achieve happiness, it is what most of us strive for throughout our lives.

In this TED talk, David Steindl-Rast explains his belief that there is a direct connection between happiness and gratefulness. He believes that people are happy when they are grateful, and in every given moment, we have an opportunity to be grateful. There are some people who have everything they want, but have still not achieved the happiness that they hope for. Others have lives filled with hardships and challenges, but somehow find a way to create their own happiness.

Many people believe that happiness makes us grateful, but Steindl-Rast’s opinion contradicts this statement. He believes that gratefulness leads to happiness, and every given moment is a gift. We cannot be grateful for every moment in life because most of us will encounter some form of tragedy, but we can be grateful for the opportunity given in the moment. We always have the opportunity to rise to the occasion and respond to the opportunity given.

I agree with his ideas and concepts. We may not always be able to avoid the difficulties in life, but in every given moment, we have the opportunity to be grateful. Being grateful is the only way that we can achieve that happiness that we dream of. We may not be able to get everything that we want in life, but as long as we are grateful for what we have, we have the capacity to create happiness for ourselves, in a way that ungrateful people cannot.